The best lesson of 2016

The best lesson I learnt in 2016 is that,

“We can never judge our past with today’s maturity& we should learn from our past by understanding it with today’s maturity.”   

We had been friends for years. Though our approach to each & everything in life and our likes & dislikes was the same, we‘d huge misunderstandings with each other because of three things that I feel is entirely my fault.

First, in the relationship of two (me and my EX bestie) I somewhere knowingly or unknowingly left the third person to poke her nose in our issues.

Second, though I  had a great care and love for her& her life, the way I expressed it to her was little harsh.

Third, I never ended the arguments left unsolved and fruitlessly carried it to the next day. Often we walked out on each other right in the middle of the discussion, leaving the other seething with rage, with that precise intention.

On countless occasions, I felt she was not as she used to. These happened in the transition period of grade 11 & 12.But in the same period, we also had some wonderful moments together during the lunches & dinner without speaking a word or exchanging glares, feeling only the warmth of each other sitting beside. They were almost like the proverbial needle in the haystack kind of a thing. All our struggles to continue our friendship fetched us a lot of heartaches exactly before three years.

The woe is I thought all those memories have left a very bad taste in both our mouths. But it is not so! The past has hung like an albatross over me alone because somewhere around August of this year, I called her in a deep chaos and regret  & when I queried something about the misunderstandings we had, she replied these exact words in a sarcastic tone,”hey....It has been around three years & how could you expect me to remember all that stuff I had with you”

Her tone & the words let me in a shock. But then I was able to get a clear vision that 

I cannot rewrite the past. I can only ensure a wonderful present and a glorious future.

In the 2^nd standard, I scored 85 in arithmetic. If I am given the same question paper today, I will score full marks. But how can I compare my arithmetic scores in class two with today’s maturity? 

I will be a fool to do so. So, circumstances prevailed once may be ridiculously simple for me today. I believe that I‘ve grown mature with the passage of time.

So, I learnt the idea how to salvage bliss& happiness, love & affection from the debris of bad experiences and I think this is the best lesson I learnt in 2016.

With smiles...

Swathi Mohan   

(Investing myself  completely in the art of living)

Voice of love...!!

We experience a lot in life, which enlighten us a great lesson that the books and curriculum cannot. Sometimes we feel great about what we learned from it & many times we forget to implement that in our lives. This is true especially for the experiences that are emotionally bonded to us.

That was one fine evening on October 24; 

I was sitting merely having my slambook opened & my mind enriched with the old memories.I was diverted abruptly and opened the chat as I heard the cling sound. It was the voice of love,my childhood friend Bhavadharini!

We hardly had two conversations & maybe it’s true.....A best friend can find your tone even with the letters you type.She was very sharp & crisp,”temme love, what’s your problem?”. I smiled & typed “nothing”. She typed back angrily,”oh, nothing! Then bye...”I typed,”no bow (I usually call her so)...Today is her birthday, so I was plunged by all those old memories. Every year we used to enjoy this day like anything & never surmised that a few years later we will be apart like this. You very well know how we were. She has been in all my extremes holding my hands tightly. Even if she can’t give better solutions at times, she never failed to cry along with me! Now nothing else is left than the misunderstandings. I earnestly don’t want to justify or being justified by anyone or any situation that prevailed exactly before 3 years, but still is everything over??????”

She replied, “I can help a person caught in the jaws of a crocodile. But how can I help a person caught in the jaws of a crocodile, while all she has is just the picture of a crocodile under her feet? The past has no reality except in the memory in which it is processed.Yet, you are caught up in the whirlpool & pretending that your past is still real dear!! By abusing your todays over the regrets of the past, you endlessly lose your todays that could’ve been used to build up your tomorrow”

I know she is right, but still, I didn’t break the silence.

She continued, “Nothing is a greater retardant to growth than the burden of the emotional baggage of your past.So, to unburden yourself from the past & to offload your emotional baggage embrace “forgiveness”. This can be the most selfish thing you do in life to liberate yourself from the clutches of hatred. Guilt is as much a retardant as hurt. Liberate yourself from both, because when you don’t forgive others, you suffer from hurt: and when you don’t forgive yourself, you suffer from guilt. Remind yourself that you are only human & humans err...”

I felt some profoundness in her words...but as she said, I remind,”am a human”. Sometimes our brain knows what is right, but it takes some time for the heart to realize it and honour it as well. Ha ha...I took these many  days!!!

Yes! It’s better to have loved & lost than to have not loved at all. It’s better to be cheated than to be a cheat. It’s better to have suffered the  wrong than to have done the wrong.Bitter yesterdays can create better tomorrow with all the maturity we gained out of those experiences.

So, I put a premium on my tears, so that I can encounter many more beautiful moments in my life, more worthy than my tears. There is a saying –“today can be the last day in your life”.This can be true in some cases, but equally true is the fact that today is the first day for the rest life.  I began today and you.....????

With smiles..

  Swathi  💚

(Investing myself  completely in the art of living)