The road not taken

At times, I wonder what life is, What’s the purpose of living, Why am I here, what did I dream of, what should I achieve in life, why only a few are successful & why some are not, why we are entitled to such a situation etc., Most people are not satisfied with what they have. And some of them claim that they are satisfied, but actually not!

Alas, only very few actually feel that sense of satiety in life!

When people go over different laps in their life, they tend to think that the lap they are in is not fine & could have been better. Say when we are in college, we feel our school life was the best, & after college, we think our college life was the best. When we are in our own country, we strive hard to go to some foreign destination, & when we are finally in that foreign nation, we think our own country was the best, & we should have not come here

Whether it is a proven psychology or not, I am not sure, but human mind always aims for something or the other and have a sense of dissatisfaction when it fails.

I suppose, no one is born with an objective. It’s the one that we create! It’s like when you are in school, your objective is to get a name in your school’s roll of honour. When you are at college, your objective is to enjoy the first few years & when you slid towards the end of your college life, your ultimate objective is to get a lucrative job or go for higher studies. When you are at a job, your objective is to go onsite or get a promotion. When you’ve spent a considerable amount of time at gaining work experience, your objective is to build a house and get married. When you hit your late twenties, your objective is to bring children into your life. When your children grew, your objective is to shape them towards a goal for their better lives. And these objectives metamorphose into new shapes when you drive into different laps of life.

But why do the objectives in each lap remain the same for almost everyone? While these objectives are not predefined rule in the dossier, why most of us take the same road?

I guess no one has the answer! But life goes on & on...and we run behind something as always! Isn’t it???

Be it so! One thing I wanna make sure! I’m not going to take the same road like the most! I prefer, “The road not taken”. Let me be the next to “Robert Frost”(ha ha....)

Yeah! I’m not studying just to make my CGPA high! I’m not studying just to add those two letters behind my name for it to be printed in my marriage invitation because I want to project to the world, “what I am” and not “what the world likes me to be”.

Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will never happen to us & the same way when that great failure of my life gave me two chances of “regret” or “rejoices”, I preferred to rejoice. And I swear, when you rejoice, it is bliss! So why not you be after Swathi to prefer,”The road not taken”. 

Try it, because there is so much of peace when one does not have to hide behind the mask to the world!

With smiles...

Swathi   

(Investing myself completely in the art of living)

Resolution of the year 2017!!

"The character is the ability to carry out a good resolution long after the excitement of the moment has passed."


                                                   
“Let’s hope”

“Let’s see”

“I’ll give a try”

“I’ll try”

These are the phrases that have become a part of my daily vocabulary. My mother implores, “Won’t you give a second thought?”

Again my obvious answer will be, “I’ll try”

I don’t even have the inkling of the implications of using these deadly phrases. My mother warns me that these words will have a serious impact on my behaviour & attitude. She used to curse it as the most disempowering words that my tongue rolls out often.

Whenever I use these words in situations where clear decisions are being desperate of, I get a lecture from her for half an hour at least! And I say it because I want to be polite so as not to hurt the other person. But she alleged that this dishonest statement will weaken me & turn against me one or the other day!

She believes that there are only two options for anything in life either we take action or don’t and, ironically scolds me that I have a clever mind & smart enough to create one more path which is fuzzy and unclear and that is to say the directionless statement, “I’ll try”. She at times yells me like I have a cunning mind avoiding commitments by preferring to sit on the wall without taking any stand on the matter so that can jump the either side.

She emphatically and authoritatively concludes that “I’ll try” is the sure way to stagnation and progress comes of clarity that is clear “Yes” or “No”. So, I’m not going to tell, “I’ll try “again but just going to do it taking a clear resolution and thereby implement from 2017.

For those who are with the same attitude, “I’ll try “attitude (escapism attitude of mine), I have broken my mind and gathered the lectures of my mother & have shortlisted for you. It will be better for you too, to take a resolution after a complete justification and satisfaction as well.

"You say “I’ll try “means, your mind has already put the issue in the back-burner. It has become the last priority.”I’ll try “mode is a disempowering state of mind, resulting from insufficient motivation & power. The mind may develop a laid-back attitude. It shifts the attitude to a low-key mode assuring non-committal state. Being in such non-committal states of mind will weaken us over a period of time. It shows your inability to take a risk. It keeps your self-image intact  & this is the self-deception at its worst.
The only way of being powerful & in control of life is to be committed, which means by saying either “Yes” or “No”, and not “I’ll try”. Commitment is a source of personal power & without it, self- mastery can never be achieved.
Well, you may ask about certain situations where you cannot give a commitment. In that case, Say”No”.That is also empowering because you’re clear in your mind that you cannot do it. There is no dishonesty here. To say,” I’ll try” when you know in your heart that you’re not going to lift a finger is inauthentic. But doing it as a daily job will have serious repercussions in the long run.
In case if you can tell “Yes” or “No”, state the exact factual position you are subjected to. There will be no ambiguity here for both when the spaces are clear. Real power comes when you say “Yes” against all odds and in doing it.
The chances of success are far better when you come from an empowering space. Even if you don’t succeed at first, keep coming from the empowering space of commitment, again & again, no matter how long it takes. The only thing that ultimately matters, in the long run, is the space where you come from”

But that’s right! An ambivalent mind is a hesitating mind, unsure of itself. Hence, I have decided to take this resolution for the year 2017 & Swathi will no more have a disempowering state of mind, no insufficient motivation, no laid back attitude, no non-committal state & particularly no escapism!!(he ..he..). 

With smiles.....

Swathi 💚

(Investing myself completely in the art of living)

Voice of love...!!

We experience a lot in life, which enlighten us a great lesson that the books and curriculum cannot. Sometimes we feel great about what we learned from it & many times we forget to implement that in our lives. This is true especially for the experiences that are emotionally bonded to us.

That was one fine evening on October 24; 

I was sitting merely having my slambook opened & my mind enriched with the old memories.I was diverted abruptly and opened the chat as I heard the cling sound. It was the voice of love,my childhood friend Bhavadharini!

We hardly had two conversations & maybe it’s true.....A best friend can find your tone even with the letters you type.She was very sharp & crisp,”temme love, what’s your problem?”. I smiled & typed “nothing”. She typed back angrily,”oh, nothing! Then bye...”I typed,”no bow (I usually call her so)...Today is her birthday, so I was plunged by all those old memories. Every year we used to enjoy this day like anything & never surmised that a few years later we will be apart like this. You very well know how we were. She has been in all my extremes holding my hands tightly. Even if she can’t give better solutions at times, she never failed to cry along with me! Now nothing else is left than the misunderstandings. I earnestly don’t want to justify or being justified by anyone or any situation that prevailed exactly before 3 years, but still is everything over??????”

She replied, “I can help a person caught in the jaws of a crocodile. But how can I help a person caught in the jaws of a crocodile, while all she has is just the picture of a crocodile under her feet? The past has no reality except in the memory in which it is processed.Yet, you are caught up in the whirlpool & pretending that your past is still real dear!! By abusing your todays over the regrets of the past, you endlessly lose your todays that could’ve been used to build up your tomorrow”

I know she is right, but still, I didn’t break the silence.

She continued, “Nothing is a greater retardant to growth than the burden of the emotional baggage of your past.So, to unburden yourself from the past & to offload your emotional baggage embrace “forgiveness”. This can be the most selfish thing you do in life to liberate yourself from the clutches of hatred. Guilt is as much a retardant as hurt. Liberate yourself from both, because when you don’t forgive others, you suffer from hurt: and when you don’t forgive yourself, you suffer from guilt. Remind yourself that you are only human & humans err...”

I felt some profoundness in her words...but as she said, I remind,”am a human”. Sometimes our brain knows what is right, but it takes some time for the heart to realize it and honour it as well. Ha ha...I took these many  days!!!

Yes! It’s better to have loved & lost than to have not loved at all. It’s better to be cheated than to be a cheat. It’s better to have suffered the  wrong than to have done the wrong.Bitter yesterdays can create better tomorrow with all the maturity we gained out of those experiences.

So, I put a premium on my tears, so that I can encounter many more beautiful moments in my life, more worthy than my tears. There is a saying –“today can be the last day in your life”.This can be true in some cases, but equally true is the fact that today is the first day for the rest life.  I began today and you.....????

With smiles..

  Swathi  💚

(Investing myself  completely in the art of living)

                    

Smile please.....!

A smile is a curve that sets everything right...!!! agree????

There are few days in our lives that we will never forget. That was one such day for me. After all, it was the day I saw her most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She was fair, had pink lips, sparkling light brown eyes filled with bliss and curly black hair. Her skin was so luminous that someone would think twice before touching her. I understood the true meaning of “beauty” only after I saw her. Who was this little angel?

An eight-month-old child in a home for abandoned children.

I saw her a year back but still, her face is imprinted in my mind! There were about thirty children in the home & the caretakers were moving from one baby to another feeding them milk from the bottle. That is when I saw her in a corner...a beautiful little angel trying to move around her fours. What grabbed my attention was the fact that she was the only one wearing a jubilant smile on her face. I felt like as though the time had stopped. For moments just stood to enjoy the beauty of her smile..the smile that said me ”hey! I am my creator’s own angel”!!!!

When I went close to her, I saw a splint taped to her fragile left hand to ensure that no movement was possible at the wrist. A small plastic tube was fixed to pass some saline or medication. I wanted to know what they were giving this child that neither looked underweight nor unhealthy. I learned then that she has a problem with Iron retention in her body. So, every few hours she has to be injected with an artificial supply of iron. Doctor’s weren’t sure how long this little one would survive. Tears trickled down my cheeks as I heard all that they had to say.

 The little angel kept looking around at everyone with a divine curve on her tiny toothless jaw. I couldn’t help but smile at her through my tears. For moments, my mind went blank. Later when the smile was out of my sight but not out of my mind, I realised that a smile is not just a crinkle!.It’s a sign of love for loved ones, a sign of respect for elders, a sign of encouragement to students.

 Sometimes it can be used 

to simply convey” I am here for you”

The smile was as if she’s telling me,” Smile please". In spite of myself I smile.

No parents, not able to retain Iron. No reason to smile and yet she kept smiling happily.

So how can we not smile????

         

With smiles...  

 Swathi  

(Investing myself completely in the art of living)

Make the move today!!

A year has gone!!!!

The same day last year, it was all numb.

“End of an Era: Missile man-Dr.A.P.J.Abdul Kalam collapsed after cardiac arrest;”

And now a year has gone!

Have we changed a bit??Only his portraits have changed!!

 His lifespan”1931-2015” has been added to them.

 Why didn’t we make a move yet?

The power of words ....it is sometimes hard to understand that an encouraging word can go such a long way. Anyone can speak words that tend to rob another of the spirit to continue in difficult times. But special is the individual who will take the time to encourage others & Kalam sir epitomised several great virtues like this!

 Tough times never last 

but tough people do.

He substantiated this to all of us.

Yes, Poverty is a terrible inheritance but he refused to be defeated by it. To support his studies, he turned himself into a newspaper vendor but, he would‘ve never prospected that, years after he will be the “Top story” in the same newspapers.He told demise with fame is an achievement.And, he is a great leader because he talked the way & walked the way!

Once on reading the life history of Sir Issac Newton, 

“I seem to, have been a boy playing on the sea-shore,& diverting myself in now & then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me”...

I was startled by his last words.

But, I was ineffably goose bumped with the live instance “Kalam”-  cause’ he was so humble. Though he knew so much, his great learning showed him how much there was to be known.

Even in his last minutes also, he was addressing students at IIM Shillong; telling them that creating more paths to open new avenues of opportunities & aiming high to achieve one’s goal is what matters the most.

Life has become comically critical these days! Say, for instance, if it is August 15, that whole day all kinds of media rewind the days of 1947, speak the sacrifices of great leaders & the same story is depicted page after page in newspapers and magazines. Likewise, TV channels also run in slow motion with Black &White pictures.

The very next day everything is back to normal!TV channels turn colourful resuming the serials, cookery shows, blockbusters etc.. ,

similarly, newspapers find even more sensational news like ...........

“Attack between two government forces”

“Affair of a Bollywood actor”

“Virat hits Century” etc.,

Of course, this is not abnormal!

But I think the same way July 27 should not, especially to Children & Youth!

If it is dragged into the same way, then it palpably means that we all pretend & just  say by words that    ” Bharat has lost a Ratna”

“Aim high, dream the impossible-Work hard &achieve your goal”

 was his advice to the youth. Now we’re in a responsibility to make his dream come true

Dear all,

One day we will do what we like,

&today could be that day!

There are journeys to be undertaken,

 Books to be written,

Movies to be made, &

 People to be loved........

But they are all just plans now!

Quietly waiting in mind somewhere!!!

When is the move????

You can hear them say....

 Between the life you want & the life, you lead....

 Between fantasy & reality.........

  Between now & never.......

There is just a move & it’s time we have to make it......!

So, what are we waiting for????

Let us allow our moves to define us...

 Grab the “NOW” my friends!  And.......

                     Make the move today!!!

With Smiles...

  Swathi  💙

(Investing myself  completely in the art of living)